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PINK DOT 2012: SOMEDAY (by pinkdotsg)
Lovely ad for the 2012 Pink Dot Day in Singapore. Have tissues ready.
Q.
I’ve watched this through three times and (I didn’t expect it but) I teared up every time.
(trigger warning: rape, rape jokes) Here is why I refuse to take rape jokes sitting down…
Because 6% of college-aged men, slightly over 1 in 20, will admit to raping someone in anonymous surveys, as long as the word “rape” isn’t used in the description of the act—and that’s the conservative estimate. Other sources double that number (pdf).
A lot of people accuse feminists of thinking that all men are rapists. That’s not true. But do you know who think all men are rapists?
Rapists do.
They really do. In psychological study, the profiling, the studies, it comes out again and again.
Virtually all rapists genuinely believe that all men rape, and other men just keep it hushed up better. And more, these people who really are rapists are constantly reaffirmed in their belief about the rest of mankind being rapists like them by things like rape jokes, that dismiss and normalize the idea of rape.
If one in twenty guys (or more) is a real and true rapist, and you have any amount of social activity with other guys like yourself, then it is almost a statistical certainty that one time hanging out with friends and their friends, playing Halo with a bunch of guys online, in a WoW guild, in a pick-up game of basketball, at a bar, or elsewhere, you were talking to a rapist. Not your fault. You can’t tell a rapist apart any better than anyone else can. It’s not like they announce themselves.
But, here’s the thing. It’s very likely that in some of these interactions with these guys, at some point or another, someone told a rape joke. You, decent guy that you are, understood that they didn’t mean it, and it was just a joke. And so you laughed.
Or maybe you didn’t laugh. Maybe it just wasn’t a very funny joke. So maybe you just didn’t say anything at all.
And, decent guy who would never condone rape, who would step in and stop rape if he saw it, who understands that rape is awful and wrong and bad, when you laughed? When you were silent?
That rapist who was in the group with you, that rapist thought that you were on his side. That rapist knew that you were a rapist like him. And he felt validated, and he felt he was among his comrades.
You. The rapist’s comrade.
And if that doesn’t make you feel sick to your stomach, if that doesn’t make you want to throw up, if that doesn’t disturb you or bother you or make you feel like maybe you should at least consider not participating in that kind of humor anymore, not abiding it in your presence, not greeting it with silence…
Well, maybe you aren’t as opposed to rapists as you claim.
” Why Rape Jokes Are Never “Ok” (via twofish)
(Source: scornandritz)
Yesterday I went over to Peep’s to bring her and her disreputable roomies some gingerbread, and this guy got on the bus a while after me. His shirt said YOU WERE HOTTER ONLINE, and it was a really weird moment for me, going to the apartment of three ladies who I met online, who are excellent online friends, but who are even better (and hotter? probably) in the flesh. I disagree with your shirt, guy, but I liked it.
Homestuck fandom.
Prepare your eyes. This is the MV you’ve been waiting for.
Wow.
Wow is right.
no words
holy fuck.
I didn’t prepare myself for this.
Suddenly reminded of why I quite like Homestuck.
Reminder to my followers that if you want me to tag anything for your convenience or because of triggering content then I am more than willing to do so
i need to go to bed now oh my god
crow I’m actually crying over how gorgeous this is
ok it’s in my queue already but i need to reblog it right now cause shriekkkkkk BODY LANGUAGE so good
On the Fetishization of Woman-Presenting Asians
AKA get a new fetish. “I hear feet and urine are popular,” or so says a Youtuber who I follow, but whose name I forget.
Look, it’s not a compliment when white people say things like, “Asians are hot,” or “I want an Asian wife.”
Because let’s face it, you’re not actually attracted to us. You’re attracted to the delicate, China-doll, lily-blossom, submissive and subservient stereotype of what we should be. You’re attracted to the “traditional” values of male dominance, misogyny, and patriarchy you would supposedly enjoy with an Asian partner.
And that is very deeply racist (and sexist, but we’ll get to that later) not only because you are clumping an entire population of highly diverse and different individuals together, but also because of the historical context of it. And because of the way the sexualisation of woman-presenting Asians have led to all manner of things to be done to us, including a disproportionately high rate of sex trafficking. What’s problematic about fetishizing Asians (and other groups, like the Roma or Native Americans, but since this is a blog about China and pan-Asiatic issues, I’ll leave that to a more erudite & educated person to talk about, because I speak mostly from my experience and the experiences of other Asians) is that you are stripping them of their humanity. You are stripping them of their identities. They become objects to you — to own, the possess, to dominate, to treat however you wish.
And this comes from a long, long history of Western nations and people seeking to exert power and dominance over the East. As a direct result of this fetishization, we are seen as being Not Suitable for Things Like Marriage — we’re to be used and then dumped as the hero of our story shacks up with a more virtuous (white) lady — see Puccini’s Madame Butterfly and just about every film Anna May Wong was ever in. We’re not seen actual people. This leads to the complete removal of our agency (that’s not to say that any sex with an woman-presenting Asian is sex without consent — it is a different type of nonconsent in that our bodies have been sexualised and eroticised for us — that we have no say in the way we want ourselves to be presented — our bodies are not sexual when we want them to be sexual, they are sexual, in essence, all the time, and our bodies are not our own — they are seen, more or less, as public property), especially in the media.
(Honestly, I do want to talk about the virgin/whore dichotomy and how both stereotypes — the Lily Flower and the Dragon Lady — are severely sexist and racist, but I can’t quite gather my thoughts about it, nor can I write it in an organised manner and without a significant amount of cussing.)
Now, why is it sexist? Because it sexualises an entire population. A sexual individual is no problem whatsoever. But impressing sexuality on a group that may or may not want to be identified as such, that may or may not want to be sexualised is not, in any way, okay.
Because it is reaffirming the idea that in order to be desirable, one must be submissive and subservient to the men in their lives.
Because it tells female-perceived Asians that their worth is not in their individual person, but rather in how they look and how much they can be defined by a sexual context constructed by outsiders who have little to no understanding or respect for their culture. Because it confines them to a sexual identity that is forced on them rather than one that they adopt for themselves.
Because it expects that we would actually be willing and accepting of these sexist and racist sentiments.
Because it maintains that we should be passive actors in our own lives, that we live to serve and please. Because it wants our mouths shut for everything but blowjobs. Because it demeans our sense of self, because to be called “exotic” is anything but an ego boost, because we’re not supposed to have brains or opinions of our own.
So to you, the Asian fetishist, I say, fuck you, fuck you, fuck all of you.
EDIT (May 30th, 2012): Someone pointed out how problematic the wording was so I changed it back. I’d originally thought the use of woman-presenting was a bit off because it excluded trans*men who presented as female, but now I see the wording excludes trans*women, too. And because exotification doesn’t necessarily fall exclusively within the realm of cis East Asian women, I changed it back to woman-presenting, because that might be the best wording. If anyone has any better/more accurate/less problematic phrases, feel free to shoot me a message. :)
